It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
