Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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