Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
