Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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