Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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