I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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