the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
