3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
