Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
