Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
