You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
