just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
