Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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