When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
