i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I puked a lego.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
