you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
