walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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