I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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