i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
