Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
