He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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