Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
