p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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