Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
