Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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