I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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