Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
