do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
