ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
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