Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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