talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize