I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
