we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize