Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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