he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
