Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm going to jail i love you
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
