It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
being pregnant is like rehab
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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