Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
