The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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