remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
