I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize