turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
