just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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