I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
