non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
