trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
