Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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