Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
