Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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