seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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