I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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