I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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