what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
