Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
