I cut my penus on the lid.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
