I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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