I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
