dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You're like the curious george of whores
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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