I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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