did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
