Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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