You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
