I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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